Chronicle of Ana Shepard
by Hitokiri Akins
Summary: A journal and transcript of armor logs compiled by Garrus Vakarian and Liara T'Soni to tell the story of the one who saved the galaxy from the Reapers.
1. First human Spectre

First human Spectre. When I first enlisted 11 years ago, I never expected my career to take me here. To think that some kid from the colonies would become the most important human in the galaxy…it's humbling. It's a great responsibility that I will take as seriously as I have my commission and my N7 rank.

Because of how momentous this is for humanity, I'm taking the opportunity to, during my downtime, write down a log of my thoughts during my missions. And the best place to start is with how I became the commander of the SSV Normandy.

It actually started on the SSV Tokyo. I was the leader of the marine contingent on that cruiser when I was tapped to serve as the XO of the first ever stealth frigate by Captain David Anderson himself. Anderson and my careers had crossed paths a few times over the years; I first met him after Elysium, and again years later, after I got my N6 designation, where I served under him until he finally deemed me worthy and submitted the final paperwork to make me an N7.

Anyway, when I first laid eyes on the Normandy, I knew that my career would never be the same. Co-developed by human and turian engineers, merging turian discipline and organization with human ingenuity and creativity to make the most advanced ship in the galaxy. The Normandy has the innovative Internal Emissions Sink, or IES, which makes her invisible to sensors and gives us a great tactical advantage. And it turned out to be a great ship for a Spectre.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. As the Normandy was prepping for shakedown on Arcturus, I toured the ship and got to know the people I'd be serving with; Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, my Marine Detachment Commander, Corporal Richard Jenkins, a squad leader during his basic training, and a few others who were to be fighting in my squad during ground missions. I also saw that our drop vehicle was the M35 Mako, an APC that I absolutely hate due to its lack of maneuverability, though it does have its uses. And when the time came for us to take off, I asked Anderson what his orders were. He gave me what I now know to be a strangely prophetic smile and said "Shepard, let's see what we can find."

Of course, we found trouble. We received a distress beacon from Eden Prime, one of our first extra-solar colonies and headed there with our guest, turian Spectre Nihlus Kryik, who was there to test me and give the final word on whether or not I would be accepted by the Citadel Council. When we got to Eden Prime, we were attacked by geth, a race of synthetics that, until now, didn't leave the Perseus Veil. These geth were the troops of now former Spectre Saren Arterius in his quest to bring about the return of the Reapers, another synthetic race that destroyed the Protheans. Saren needed information from the Prothean beacon that had been excavated on Eden Prime, and he was willing to destroy the colony to ensure no one could follow him.

During the mission, we lost Corporal Jenkins, but picked up Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and continued on to retrieve the beacon. From survivors of the attack, we found that Saren had attacked, shot Nihlus and set a nuke to destroy the colony. Thankfully, we managed to disarm the nuclear devices as we fought our way through Saren's geth, but Lt. Alenko got too close to the beacon and got caught in the field. I managed to push him away, but got caught in the field myself. I saw horrific visions—synthetics that I now know to be the Reapers waging a terrible war—before the beacon exploded, throwing me to the ground hard and knocking me out.

I came to about 15 hours later in the Normandy's med bay, surrounded by Doctor Karin Chakwas and Lt. Alenko, and told them of the visions. Then Captain Anderson came in and I debriefed him, and then he briefed me on what we were going to do; we were heading to the Citadel to inform the Council that Saren had betrayed them, but they didn't believe us. Saren was their top agent, and all we had was the testimony of a traumatized dock worker and my visions. So Alenko, Williams and I headed into the Wards to find some evidence, where we met Garrus Vakarian, a turan C-Sec officer, and Urdnot Wrex, a krogan bounty hunter. From there, we found that Choras' Den owner and small time criminal Fist had information on a quarian who had evidence of Saren's treachery. The five of us raided Choras' Den only to find that Fist had been hired by Saren to kill the quarian. We got the location that Fist sent the quarian, and Wrex shot Fist before we left. I wasn't pleased with that fact, but we didn't have time to argue; we had to fight our way out of Choras' Den to the meeting point to save the quarian. Luckily the quarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, was more resourceful than she looked, and had managed to defend herself long enough for us to swoop in and rescue her. From there, we brought her to the human embassy and presented her data to Ambassador Donnel Udina, the human representative. He presented the irrefutable evidence to the Council.

Left with no recourse, they stripped Saren of his Spectre status, but still refused to get involved with "a purely human matter". I was upset, calling them out on how every time humanity asked for help, they abandoned us. Udina agreed, saying he was sick of the Council's "anti-human bullshit", before being cut off and presented with the solution that he had been looking for the entire time; making me the first human Spectre and sending me after Saren.

The ceremony wasn't all that lavish; in fact, my crew and I were still equipped with our weapons and still clad in our armor. But that didn't take away from the importance of this moment; Spectres were usually chosen from the three races of the Citadel Council, and to be among a race that wasn't from the Council races showed just how extraordinary they consider me to be. A Spectres' primary responsibility is to preserve galactic stability by any means necessary, so I essentially became above the law when it came to how I accomplish my missions from this point on.

After the Council meeting adjourned, Udina told me to meet him at the Normandy in a couple hours as he set things up for me. Once I was there, however, I was met by both Udina and Anderson. They told me that Anderson was stepping down as the captain of the Normandy, and I was being given command of it.

This was just as exciting as being made a Spectre; my first command. I mean, I'm coming to the point where I'd be given my own command eventually anyway, but I'm still only a Lieutenant Commander; I'm used to commanding ground forces, not ships. But I know I'm as ready to assume command of the Normandy as I am to be the first human Spectre.

For now, we've been given three leads; a Prothean dig site in the Artemis Tau cluster to find Prothean expert Doctor Liara T'Soni, Noveria, a privately owned research colony world where Matriarch Benezia, Saren's lieutenant and mother of Doctor T'Soni went, and Feros, a place where the geth have attacked. Hopefully, we can get the information we need to stop Saren from bringing back the Reapers.


	2. Meeting the doctor

The search for Doctor T'Soni was as eventful as anything else has been since I first boarded the Normandy. We found Prothean ruins on Therum, though unfortunately the landscape was too geologically unstable to land the Normandy, so we had to drop in that annoying Mako.

We drove from the dropzone to the dig site, a few clicks away, right through an army of geth until we got to a point where the Mako couldn't pass or jump over, so we headed off toward the dig site on foot. But before we could get into the volcano that was housing the young doctor, we had to fight a squad of geth and a geth armature, one of those giant tank things. They would have overwhelmed us were it not for the biotic power of Alenko and Wrex, and the hacking ability of Tali. And while they were talking care of those annoying hoppers, Vakarian, Williams and I went after the armature. We made short work of the geth and headed into the mines.

We found found T'Soni trapped in a Prothean device. She was protected from the geth, but we couldn't get there from where we were at, so we continued to explore, finding a mining laser and blowing open a path. Unfortunately, we had destabilized the mine, and had to fight a krogan battlemaster and a squad of geth before we could get T'Soni to safety.

I can tell T'Soni is smitten with me from the way she talks to me, which complicates things as much as Alenko's attraction to me. I mean, attraction is fine, but if they try to push for something more, it could complicate the mission. And that's not to mention that I'm going to hurt both, since I'm not interested in either romantically.

We're heading back to the Citadel to check in with Udina and Anderson on how the Alliance views my actions so far, and we need to restock on dextro food and medical supplies for Vakarian and Tali. The Council wasn't pleased with the Prothean ruins being destroyed, and I doubt that Udina will be any more pleasant about things, but I'd still like to talk to Anderson about a few things before heading off to Noveria.


	3. Citadel meetings

As I expected, this visit to the Citadel was unpleasant, though not in ways I was expecting; yeah, Udina got on my case about destroying those Prothean ruins, but it was the things that happened both before and after I met Udina that made this visit unpleasant.

First was meeting Rear Admiral Mikhailovich as the Normandy docked. Apparently he was opposed to the building of the Normandy, and is as xenophobic as the Terra Firma party, because after demanding to make an inspection, he immediately went off on the cost of the Tantalus Drive Core and how useless stealth technology was, the CIC and my choice of crew, namely letting Liara, Wrex, Garrus and Tali work there.

When it was my turn to defend my ship, I reminded him of the benefits of the Normandy's design and capabilities; how the CIC design let us see how turians command their ships, and how working with a multilateral crew showed how willing humanity was to work with other species. And as for his comment on the uselessness of stealth technology, I reminded him that very technology revolutionized air combat in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, and how men of limited vision always bashed new technologies until they were proven.

I managed to turn him toward my viewpoint, because as he left, he said his report to the JMC wouldn't be as negative as he had planned.

Almost immediately after, I was stopped by a tabloid journalist named Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani. She asked for an interview, and tried to make me look like I'm a slave to the Council. She catered to the popular human opinion that the Council sees us as a "poor relation", and tried to make me sound like I was admitting to that.

I'm glad to say that I chose not to play her game; that it was an honor to become a Spectre, how we're part of a galactic community and can't make our way in the galaxy alone, how the Normandy is a symbol of cooperation between two races that started out as enemies, and how I and the crew are still Alliance before I told her I couldn't tell her what my assignment may be.

And people wonder why I hate reporters.

Anyway, what happened after Udina is what really darkened my mood. We had a few hours before the Normandy was refueled and resupplied, so I went into the wards and met someone I hadn't seen in 13 years; Lieutenant Zabaleta, the man who saved me after my parents died right before my eyes. He managed to get me to a defensible place as we watched my friends and families of others get taken or killed by the batarian slavers. In my eyes, he was a hero; he was the reason I joined the military when I was old enough. I wanted to protect people the way he protected me.

So when I saw him retired, homeless and drunk, it broke my heart. I never wanted to see my hero like this, but there he was. I urged him to go to the Veteran's Affairs Office, to get help, to move past what we saw that day. He agreed, reluctantly, but it's good to know he'll get some help.

But Zabaleta wasn't the only person on the Citadel still dealing with Mindoir; a recent Alliance raid on a batarian slaver camp brought a girl who was 6 of the time of the raid and had been a slave for 13 years to the Citadel. She was a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, trying to "put the things back into" the slavers the Alliance marines had killed to rescue her. She had escaped from the rescue ship and was holding herself up in a dock when I received a call about it from a Lieutenant Girard. I headed to that dock immediately, and saw the girl, Talitha, in a very sad state.

Talitha was malnourished to the extreme, and was covered in scars, mostly from whips and burns. Yeah, I've got my share of scars too, but all of mine are from my choices; either stupid things I did as a kid, or in the line of duty. But her scars...

Anyway, in order to help Talitha, I had to establish a connection with her; that we both lived through the raid. And in order to do that, I not only had to relive the events of that day, but I had to recount them. So I told her about what happened to me, to my parents. I told her how I survived and the help I got. And then, I had to make her relive the events herself. And her story was far more harrowing than mine. I was 16; I was able to fight. I helped Zabaleta get us to a defensible position, and even took a few shots with his pistol at the batarians who had us pinned down. Talitha? She was 6; she couldn't fight. She watched her parents burn to death before running, hiding, and when those failed, played dead. And even then, the batarians took her.

I managed to talk her down, take the gun she had taken, and give her the sedative Lt. Girard gave me to give her. By the time I was done, by the time I had reconnected her with her humanity, she wanted to get better. She wanted to be free.

I sat by the lake on the Presidium for an hour after that, coping with what I just dealt with, until I was notified that the Normandy was ready. I happily headed back, perfectly willing to get my mind back on military matters, despite the thoughts still weighing heavily on my mind.

Maybe getting them written down will let me sleep.

**Glossary of terms:**

We use a LOT of acronyms in the military, and since they are so ingrained in Shepard's mind, she'd use them in her personal logs. I'll have these in the future as well.

JMC-Joint Military Council


	4. Old Nightmares

I had the dream again. Of Mindoir. Of the raid. Of how I killed my parents.

It was a couple of hours after school; I finished my biotics training with the other kids and was working in the fields, getting the weeds pulled to ensure the crops were healthy. I was heading back for dinner when I heard the air raid sirens going off; we were being attacked. I started running back to the prefab to catch up with my parents so we could head to the shelter.

Unfortunately, by the time I got back, a couple of batarians were dragging my parents out of the house. I did the only thing I could; I used the biofeedback motion my teacher had taught me to lift the batarians into the air. Unfortunately, my parents were caught in the biotic field. They flew six, maybe seven meters into the air before slamming hard onto the ground. Both the batarians and my parents were killed upon impact, but due to their armor and shields, the batarians' damage was visibly contained.

But my parents…their bones were visibly shattered. Poking out out of the skin in some places. I dropped to my knees at the sight of my parents mangled bodies, my only thought was that my biotics had killed my parents.

I still don't know how much time had passed between that and when Zabaleta snapped me out of my reverie and got me to safety, but eventually the batarians were driven off, and I was left alone in a shelter.

The Alliance counselors talked to me, along with other survivors, treating us for PTSD all while trying to figure out what to do with us. It was found out that I have grandparents on Earth; my mom's parents in Kyoto, Japan. I was on a shuttle to Earth within a week, where I continued to see doctors and therapists for stress and why I suddenly could no longer use my biotics to lift anything heavier than a coffee cup.

Yeah, I blamed my biotics for the death of my parents. Still do, to an extent. I've spoken to a dozen therapists and half as many MDs over the last 13 years, and the only thing anyone can figure is that I subconsciously shut them off so I can't accidentally hurt anyone else like that again.

Once I was functional, I went back to high school and did what I could to move on with my life. Ojiisan and obaasan pushed me into their religion, and that helped me cope a bit. To know that God has a reason for everything is comforting, even though I didn't know at the time why.

Anyway, I finished high school and joined the Alliance military at 18, where I've had the distinguished career I've had. Though I still can't use my biotics with any real power; I've researched alien methods and training, meditation, even prayer, but nothing works. And though I'm an expert on alien biotics now, I still subconsciously blame my parents death on my biotics.

For now though, I'd better get down to armory; we're answering a distress call originating from Terra Nova, and we need to be ready when we drop in the Mako.

**Glossary of terms:**

Ana Shepard is bilingual, since her mother was Japanese. As such, she uses a few Japanese terms in regards to her mother's family.

Ojiisan-Grandfather in Japanese.

Obaasan-Grandmother in Japanese.

**Author's Note:** Anyone who has a problem with Shepard being religious can kiss my ass. Her beliefs are important to the plot later on, so anyone who will give me crap will be blocked. I will have no hate spouted in my review section.


	5. Return of biotics

I got my biotics back! After 13 years, I finally got my biotics back! I guess dealing with my past with Zabaleta and Talitha helped unlock my block! Or maybe it was the mission over Terra Nova.

We responded to the distress beacon I mentioned previously and found that a group of terrorists were planning on slamming an asteroid into the planet. The asteroid was planned on being used as a mining platform and eventually a space station by the inhabitants of Terra Nova before the terrorists activated the fusion torches that the miners were using to tow the asteroid into the planet's orbit.

But when we hit the first torch, we saw who the terrorists were. Or rather, what; batarians. All of the anger I had felt about what their people had done on Mindoir and Elysium flood back when I saw them, and I was grateful for the chance to take out my frustrations.

But I'm an Alliance soldier first and foremost, and I didn't do anything stupid; I entered combat with my mind clear and on the tactics I had to use in order to complete the mission. But the tactics weren't enough. Maybe they had managed to outflank us, or maybe I was letting my emotions get the best of me, but the batarians managed to pin down my squad, and Liara, Wrex and Kaidan were still cooling down after heavy biotic use. Ashley, Tali and Garrus were also pinned down in the middle of the room. Only I had a clear shot into that clusterfuck, but I was out of grenades, so the moment I took one down, we would all be pinned down, and the batarians would have a chance to outflank us. I was so pissed that I was powerless, that I couldn't stop the batarians _again_. It was that moment that I felt a familiar, yet almost forgotten sensation; I felt dark energy flare around me. And I took a gamble; I popped from cover and used the biofeedback motion I had been taught years ago and threw the batarians pinning down Ashley, Tali and Garrus, as well as the cover the batarians were using, across the room. With that group temporarily neutralized, I opened fire with my rifle at the group pinning down Wrex and Liara, before shouting to press the attack across the radio. The rest of the team was shocked, but they were professional enough to finish the battle before asking any questions.

I quickly explained that I am a biotic, that I am marginally trained, and that I have no real fine control over the power I am putting out, so they shouldn't count on my abilities in combat just yet, and that I would explain later. We didn't have time when the colony was in danger.

We continued on to the second station, and then the third, shutting down the torches at each before heading on to the main base for the miners.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: Since Shepard glossed over the next two stations, I have included a transcript of her armor logs for the conversation with one of the terrorists at the third. I've also added descriptions of when sound is important._

Batarian: Hold on! This doesn't have to end in bloodshed!

Shepard: I highly doubt that!

Batarian: Look, I'm just doing my job here! Hijacking this rock wasn't my idea!

Shepard: And what, pray tell, _is_ your job?!

Batarian: I signed on to make a little profit; a quick slave grab. Nothing more.

[The sound of Shepard channeling dark energy is recorded by the radio.]

Shepard: So you wanted to ruin the lives of more innocent people? To turn another teenager into a soldier? To create another Talitha?

[Shepard threw the batarians across the room with her biotics and then drew her assault rifle.]

Shepard: Sorry slaver, but I don't care whether you approve of this terrorism or not! You don't get the chance to destroy any more lives!

_We took down the slavers, and when the battle was over, I could see the pain in Shepard's body language. But since no one else was saying anything, I figured this wasn't the time to brooch the subject._

When we entered the main base, we were attacked by mechs and batarians. We slaughtered them all, and was confronted by their leader, Balak. He taunted me, spouting the righteous indignation that only religious extremists can muster up, but I was having none of it; not after Elysium and Mindoir. I was bringing him in, dead or alive.

And then he hit me with the million credit dilemma; save the group that had been feeding me information during the mission, or sacrifice their lives to stop Balak for good. And while I regret letting them die, I made the only choice possible; I had to stop Balak. Between three lives and the billions he'd kill if he were to go free, the choice was simple. And while I may have nightmares about their sacrifice, if billions can sleep soundly because of my choice, I'll gladly live with it.

When I stopped Balak, he again started taunting me. Telling me that I was the real terrorist for letting him kill innocent people, that the batarians would continue things and so on. And let me tell you, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to use my newly rediscovered biotics to tear him apart. But the soldier in me knew that bringing him in alive would benefit the Alliance in two ways; it would show the galaxy that we could defend out colonies, and that we were better than those who would try to destroy us, giving them a fair trial.

When we were back on the Normandy, I called the crew to the briefing room, and I met them there after seeing Doctor Chakwas; she knew about my "condition", and I needed to be examined to ensure that I was healthy enough to start training again; because I am going to reclaim what I have lost. I spent 13 years feeling like a part of me had died, and I'm not throwing it away now that I have it back.

Thankfully, Doctor Chakwas deemed me healthy enough, and put in a requisition for the allotted energy drinks and extra food rations that all biotics get, since we burn more energy when we are using our biotics frequently.

After getting the okay from the doctor, I went to the briefing room and told my crew the story I told in the previous log and how I subconsciously blamed my biotics for my parents' death until this point. Liara and Kaidan surmised that it was coping with the pain I was dealing with when I helped Zabaleta and Talitha, where Wrex surmised that it was rage at the batarians that did it. I figure that it was a combination of both; that how close both events were together was what finally helped me accept that it wasn't my fault, that if it were not for the slavers, I never would have killed my parents.

Regardless, the three of them agreed to help train me; Liara will help with finer control, Kaidan will help with flare ups when I'm angry (since channeling dark energy equates to drawing a gun to people), and Wrex will help with the level of power output. Until they deem me ready, however, I'm not going to use biotics in combat.

For now, we're heading back to the Citadel to get those supplies that Doctor Chakwas requisitioned, and I'll start training as soon as I get them.


	6. Missions around the Traverse

I haven't updated this log in a while, but I've been really busy with biotic training, distress calls, a geth incursion in the Armstrong Cluster, a mission for both Garrus and Wrex, and a fanboy of all things.

First, the training. Liara, Wrex and Kaidan are trying to cram years of training into months. All three of them are preaching control, to ensure that I don't do what I did to my parents to the rest of my team. Liara has worked closely with me on physical control; a lot of meditation, a lot of focus tests, and a lot of training with pillows in the cargo hold so I didn't accidentally create a hull breach by accident.

Kaidan worked on emotional control; he knows better than anyone else what losing control is like. After all, he's the reason the BAaT program was shut down in 2169. He killed Vyrnnus after he hurt one of Kaidan's fellow students, so he knows the power a biotic can put out when under emotional distress.

As such, these two got very close to me; they had to know my motivations, my strengths, my weaknesses, my ticks and personality quirks to tailor their training program to me. Unfortunately for me, I can see their affection for me grow as we get to know each other, far more than it should. I'm going to need to talk to them soon and let them know that I'm not interested in either of them.

Wrex, on the other hand, is taking a different approach. He too understands how important control is to a biotic, but he approaches it differently; he's working on my Barriers. And I had not expected that approach from a krogan. I mean, what I've read on krogan battlemasters is that they focus on power before defense, so that's what I initially expected from Wrex. But he's different from any krogan I've ever dealt with; he's more of a thinker than a brute. His thought process was that if I could protect myself with a Barrier without hurting myself, I'd have the control I need to direct power outward without hurting my allies.

And he tested this by shooting me. Yeah, he had me set up a Barrier and started shooting me with a pistol. Granted, he's having me wear my armor so that, if his shots somehow get past my Barrier, my shields would take the damage, but still, he's shooting me. And when he deems me ready, he's going to make me stop wearing the armor when we're training. The only concession he'll give me at that point is medi-gel.

And all three are working closely together; Kaidan is taunting me with painful memories while Wrex is shooting at me, Wrex is my target when Liara has me work on control, and Liara is there when Kaidan pushing my boundaries to ensure I don't hurt anyone when I finally snap. It's tough, but all three of them are monitoring my physical and mental states; none of them want me to hurt myself in the process of bringing out my potential.

And it is tiring work. And because how much training I'm doing, Doctor Chakwas has allocated twice the food rations and energy drinks that a normal biotic would be allowed. That's right; I'm eating four times the calories that a normal marine is eating. But between the biotic training and the normal PT, I'm not only keeping off any weight, I've lost a little. It was actually the weight loss that caused Doctor Chakwas to boost my calorie intake in the first place; being underweight is more dangerous to a biotic than to a normal person; if we don't have any fat reserves to burn, then we can really hurt ourselves when trying to dig deep.

As such, we've had to make some more frequent trips to the Citadel for supplies. And this is why I've been able to pick up several missions as both a Spectre and for the Alliance. First was Admiral Kohoku. He had a team disappear in the Artemis Tau cluster, and wanted me to investigate. What we found was a beacon positioned by a Thresher Maw. When we reported back to him, he was upset over the fate of his team, and headed off to find out why his team was lured there.

And during that trip to the Citadel, I met my fanboy, Conrad Verner. We met him in the Wards and he talked to me about my actions against the geth on Eden Prime, and asked for an autograph.

From there, we got a message from Admiral Hackett about a rogue VI on Luna. We dropped in the Mako and found that the VI had taken three facilities over. We fought through all three facilities to take down the VI, and all of them had security drones. And this was a perfect opportunity for me to train my Barriers, with how many times those drones dropped my shields.

Anyway, after we shut down one of the power junctions at each station, it released a new defense measure; first toxic gas that made breathing difficult, then kinetic barriers over each door, then at the final station, we had to fight more security drones. And when we shut down the last power junction, we received what I think was a message in binary on our helmet HUDs.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: The message was "Help"._

We headed back to the Citadel after that and received a recorded message from Admiral Kohoku, telling me he tracked what led his team to the Thresher Maw into the Voyager Cluster. Anderson also told me about a geth incursion in the Armstrong Cluster, and Hackett told me about a biotic cult in the Hawking Eta cluster.

And then my fanboy showed up; this time he remarked on my Spectre status and asked for a picture. I obliged, and he left again to show his wife.

From there, we headed out into the Hawking Eta cluster and brought retired Major Kyle into Alliance custody, but only after the biotic cultists turned violent on us. One of them got jittery while seeing armed Alliance marines, an asari, a quarian with a shotgun, a turian and a krogan marching through their facility, which forced us to kill them all on our way to the Major. This gave me the opportunity to use what I had learned from Liara in combat; I managed to keep my biotic attacks directed at my opponents, but sadly, I didn't have control over my power output; everyone I hit with my biotics was killed.

From there, we headed to take on the geth incursion into the Armstrong Cluster. This is where I really got to cut loose with my biotics; I even managed to lift a geth armature into the air. But the most interesting thing about this was at the last base, when we found some geth data, Tali IMMEDIATELY asked for a copy of it; she said it would help her pilgrimage. On one hand, these were classified files, but on the other, Tali is my friend, and it's not like she would be giving this date to the Alliance's enemies; she'd be taking it to an insular society. So I let her have the data, and she thanked me profusely. She also promised that she'd stick with me until I've stopped Saren.

After dealing with the Armstrong cluster, I headed into the Voyager cluster to aid Admiral Kohoku's investigation. Unfortunately, we were too late, and Cerberus, the organization that had led his team to their deaths, had killed him. I've heard a bit about Cerberus, and how they were supposedly a black op that went rogue, but became something more. But all that matters to me is that they are terrorists that make humanity look bad, and need to be stopped whenever we find them.

Anyway, we followed the lead that was on the late Admiral's body and shut down a Cerberus operation in that cluster. After, we were contacted by an agent of the Shadow Broker, wanting a copy of the information we found, information that Admiral Kohoku had promised the Broker. I denied their request, and the agent gave me a vague threat.

We headed back to the Citadel to restock and resupply and were met once again by the fanboy. This time he asked me to make him a Spectre. I was fed up with him, but I had to maintain the military public image and talked him down; I told him that I was made a Spectre because of my accomplishments and training, and that his wife needed him more than I did. He finally got the hint, and I haven't seen him since.

After returning to the Normandy, Garrus and Wrex told me about some things that they needed help with; Garrus told me about a criminal that got away from him while he served with C-Sec, and Wrex told me about a turian who had his ancestor's armor. Wrex's mission was straightforward; invade a base, kill the guys in the base, retrieve his armor. Wasn't much of a danger, but it gave me an opportunity to practice control over my power output. At this point, I was only maiming my foes instead of outright killing them, so I was making progress.

As for Garrus, we trudged through a ship with these freakish experiments attacking us, so when Garrus found Doctor Saleon, he was pissed. I had to calm him down and make him think before he agreed that we needed to take the doctor back to the Citadel. But he went and pulled a gun on us, and we were forced to kill him. Garrus was upset that I made him wait when the doctor died anyway, but I explained that we can't control what others do, only what we do, and he understood.

And this all happened over six weeks. SIX WEEKS of intense biotic training and missions testing what I had learned. I've learned a lot about control and output, as well as self-control, but I also know I've still got a LONG way to go before I'm at the level of Kaidan in terms of potential. Still, this is easier than my N7 training, so I know I'll succeed in this endeavor.

**Glossary of terms:**

PT-Physical Training. It is the military term for exercise.

HUD-Heads Up Display.


	7. Liara's comments on training

Entry by Doctor Liara T'Soni:

Shepard's biotic re-acclimation and training was more difficult than she made it out to be. At first, she could only use her biotics in anger. She had to get really worked up in order to use her potential with any power. The first time we worked with her, it took hours for her to have any power, and even then, it was only her building frustration that eventually pushed her past her own psychological blocks. So most of that first week was spent helping her get over her issues and finally gain some semblance of control over her abilities.

And yes, Shepard was losing quite a bit of weight in that first week. You see, biotics fueled by anger burns more calories than regular biotic use. Anger tends to fuel adrenaline, which burns more energy, and when add biotic training to that, it can be a dangerous combination if you're not eating enough.

Wrex was the one who noticed that she was getting winded far quicker than she should have been, even with how hard she was pushing herself, and it was Kaidan's recommendation that Shepard be weighed and examined daily for a while, and we discovered the weight loss before it did any harm. Which is why Doctor Chakwas put her on double her allotted calorie intake for a time, though we'd managed to cut that doubled calorie intake by half, so she was only eating one and a half times as much as she should be for a biotic, instead of twice. We weaned her slowly down to a standard diet for a biotic, and as she gained more and more control over her power, she was burning less and less calories.

But it took a couple of weeks to get there; she had to get through a LOT of pain before she was able to use her biotics without tapping into her anger. Kaidan and I talked to her a lot, helping her push past the anger she felt at herself that caused the initial block in the first place, and to help her stop channeling dark energy under duress; that too was causing the excess calorie usage.

It wasn't until the geth incursion into the Armstrong cluster that we felt she was ready to use her biotics for anything more than a Barrier; Wrex was right about her having a defensive mindset with her biotics would do more for teaching her control than anything else. Kaidan and I helped her work through her issues in addition to helping her use biotics for telekinesis, but having her use Barriers first and foremost helped her get past her mindset that biotics were violent and dangerous.

Kaidan also used some unorthodox methods as well; he had Shepard "play" with her biotics. He would gather things like paper, datapads, screws and any other odd items and just had her float them around the room. And while biotic use for asari is mundane, I can understand where Kaidan was coming from; biotics are not common among other species, and giving Shepard the chance to use them in a way that hurts no one really affected her mindset in a positive manner.

All of our efforts finally broke through Shepard's psychological blocks and gave her the control she needed to use her biotics in combat. But as she said, her abilities were very wild in the beginning. I spent so much time teaching her to focus her power on one target at a time, because she was extremely dangerous when using them early on; more than once she sent me, Ashley or Kaidan flying because she wasn't in full control yet. Thankfully Wrex, Kaidan and I were prepared and ensured no one got hurt when Shepard had an accident.

Thankfully Shepard powered through it, knowing that all she needed was time and training to gain the control she needed. And she made progress; by the time we had finished with the Cerberus missions, she was no longer catching us in her mass effect fields. And her drive to gain more control over her power was inspiring, in a sense. She never gave up when she was frustrated, never lost hope when she had a setback, never complained when we pushed her to new heights. We actually had to force her to slow down at points so she didn't hurt herself. And according to Kaidan, she seemed to spike higher than those with L2 implants, but I think that had more to do with her drive to get stronger than anything special about her implant.

But she never argued when we made her stop; she knew that, while she was powerful, she didn't know her limits yet. She knew that when we made her stop, it was to ensure she didn't injure herself. She likened it to weight lifting; that her body needed to rest as much as it needed to be put to its limits for it to remain healthy.

Anyway, it needed to be illustrated that things were not as easy as Shepard made them sound. Those six weeks, as well as the months to come, had a lot of hard work and effort on all our parts. She managed to gain full control over her biotics by the time we got to Virmire, but it would still take a lot of training and effort between when she wrote that log and when we got there.


	8. Frustrations on Noveria

**Author's Warning:** This chapter has a LOT of profanity in it. Shepard is military, and in the military, profanity is not only accepted, it is commonplace. She is so used to being around people who "curse like sailors", she finds no problem with using profanity herself among other military members and in her personal logs. If this bothers you, then stop reading now and don't come back to this story.

The trip to Noveria was just as unpleasant as every mission we've had so far, though once again, in different ways. Between corporate bullshit, lack of respect for my authority as a Spectre, the resurrected rachni, and the bullshit that happened with Liara's mother…things went wrong from the moment we set foot on the planet.

So I guess I'll start at the beginning. When we tried to enter Noveria's airspace, their people tried to tell us to fuck off, until Joker told them that there's a Spectre on board. They let us land, but said our ship would be impounded if they couldn't confirm my authority.

Next was the port authority; they demanded to know our identities, which I happily told them I'm a Spectre. They said they had to confirm that, and then tried to take our guns. I refused, and they said they were authorized to use deadly force if we refused to comply. I again refused, stating that, as a Spectre, I could legally execute everyone at the port and there would be no legal backlash.

Thankfully, someone said they confirmed my identity over the intercom, and said that Spectres are allowed to carry weapons. I smirked at them as we headed into the port, before being stopped by a Gianna Parasini, an Internal Affairs agent who was working undercover as Administrator Anoleis' secretary. She told us to talk to the Administrator for authorization to get to where Benezia was at, though I now know that was the first step in her attempt to manipulate me into getting what she needed to take Anoleis down.

So we met Anoleis, who first mocked me for being from the colonies, and then, in so many words, that I could take my Spectre authority and fuck off. He gave me minimal information on where I needed to go and what I needed to do, but refused to give me authorization to leave the port and drive out there. So I left his office, determined to get what I needed to get to the Binary Helix labs and find Benezia.

Thankfully, Parasini gave me some direction; talk to Synthetic Insights manager Lorek Qui'in. Qui'in gave me a task; break into his offices and get data he needed to prove Anoleis' corruption. We did just that, but on our way out, we were stopped by ERCS Sergeant Kaira Sterling, who gave us shit for killing cops, and threatened us with what they do to cop killers on her world. Wrex called them out for being dirty cops, and threatened them with what they do to dirty cops on his world.

_Addition by Liara T'Soni: Here's the armor log from that moment. Looking back, it __**was**__ amusing._

Sterling: I don't think you're supposed to be here, Shepard.

Shepard (sarcastically): No, I'm not. Are you?

Sterling: I'm Sergeant Kaira Sterling, Elanus Risk Control Services. Anoleis would throw you off world for what you did here. I won't. You know what we do to cop killers on my world?

Wrex: You're breaking the law for bribe money. You know what we do to dirty cops on _my_ world?

Obviously, we had to fight through her group, though at this point, my team is a well-oiled machine, and we managed to take them down quickly and efficiently. And on our way out of the Synthetic Insights office, we were met by Parasini, asking to meet her in the bar before talking to Qui'in.

When we met Parasini at the bar, it reminded me why I intend to stay in the military long enough to retire, because she dropped the bomb about her being Internal Affairs and all the stuff I already stated. She wanted Qui'in's evidence and his testimony, and in return, she would give me authorization to leave the port. I flat out told her that I don't about the corporate corruption and that I was more than a little irritated that this corporate bullshit was preventing me from finishing my mission. She basically said she sympathized, but her needs came first.

And people wonder why I hate big corporations.

At this point, I was just getting sick of all the corporate bullshit, and agreed just to get on with my life. And while I could have just said "screw it" and given the data directly to Qui'in, part of me agreed with what Liara said; that removing the source of corruption would be better in the long run. So I convinced Qui'in to testify, then headed back to Parasini, who gave me the garage pass in order to head to the Binary Helix facility, and then arrested Anoleis. On their way out, Anoleis demanded I arrest Parasini, but my only response was whether Parasini wanted me to shoot him for her. Fuck corporations.

So we headed into the garage and were immediately attacked by a group of geth. And as on Therum, we had to drive through an army of geth before getting to the Binary Helix facility. We fought through geth, krogan, and what I now know to be rachni in order to reactivate the facility so I could use the tram to get to the hot labs. Once there, we were met by survivors of the rachni break out, and had to sneak in to the facility to find Benezia.

Once we confronted Benezia, she immediately recognized her daughter, telling us that she would show no mercy. And I could tell in her voice how hard this was for Liara; though she was determined to stop her, Liara didn't want to kill her mother.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: Yes, that was a difficult battle. My mother was indoctrinated and was no longer herself; she was trapped inside her mind, and everything that her body was doing was not her will. She didn't want to kill me, but the Reapers gave her no choice._

I wanted to talk Benezia down, but it became clear that she wouldn't budge. So we retreated from her range, and found a defensible position on a walkway behind the large tank behind Benezia. We fought several squads of geth and asari commandos before we were able to close on Benezia, and critically wounded her.

It was then that she was able to break free of what I now know to be Reaper indoctrination, and told us what they had been looking for on Noveria; the rachni queen's memory of the location of the Mu Relay. She gave us that information, as well as what she experienced under indoctrination, and gave Liara one last moment of love for her before succumbing to indoctrination.

We had to fight another group of commandos, and Liara was the one who performed the fatal shot on her mother. My heart really went out to Liara at that moment, because I know what it feels like to kill your parents, to watch them die before your eyes.

But something unexpected happened after that; an asari corpse came up behind us and started talking. It revealed itself to be the rachni queen, and wanted us to both destroy her insane children and to be let free. Wrex was against letting her free, of course, since a generation of his people died wiping them out, and Liara refuted him, saying they let the krogan go too far and that we needed that kind of diversity in life.

And in all honesty, I agree with both. The rachni proved that they were dangerous, but children shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of their parents. And since this queen said she would take go away and hide, and would never bother anyone else ever again, I took the chance and let her free. Wrex wasn't pleased, saying his people would take care of it again if the rachni got out of hand, but I stand by my decision.

On a side note, neither the Council nor Udina were happy with this decision, but I'm coming to realize that they wouldn't be happy with anything I'm doing regardless of my choices, so fuck them.

Anyway, we did as the queen asked and unleashed the neutron purge that Binary Helix had set up to prevent the rachni from getting out before heading back to the Normandy.

Once back on the Normandy, we were able to figure out what we had and still had to learn; we knew that Saren's interest in the Protheans were more than academic, but not what he was interested in just yet. And we knew that the Mu Relay was how he'd get what he wanted, but we didn't know where to go once we used the Mu Relay. Luckily we still have Feros before we're out of leads.

And on another sad note, both Liara and Kaidan brought up their feelings for me at this point; Liara when I checked up on her and Kaidan when I asked how the crew was handling what we were doing. Liara's misunderstanding was justifiable; she doesn't really know human customs and isn't able to read human signals very well, so I just explained things to her, letting her down gently.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: That was embarrassing; both the timing and the event itself. I still can't believe I brought this up so soon after Benezia's death. _

Kaidan, however, should have recognized that I wasn't giving off any signals; I wasn't even doing any of that stupid battlefield flirting. Yeah, I got close to them both, but that doesn't mean anything; I'm also close to Garrus, since he's the one I talk to most outside my biotics training. I connect with him better than anyone else, to be honest.

Anyway, now that the Normandy has been restocked and refueled, we need to get to Feros. Hopefully, we can get what we need from there more quickly than we did on Noveria and resume our hunt for Saren.


	9. Messages from family

I got two interesting messages today; one from my sofubo, and the other from Mindoir. Both of which brightened my mood after the debacle on Noveria.

It was actually ojiisan who wrote the message, but it was from both of them; they had just saw on the news that I had been made the first human Spectre, and were offering their congratulations. They are very proud of me and what I've become, and how I managed to put Mindoir behind me after all these years. And while they know that I can't tell them much about my missions, since ojiisan was in the army before the Alliance was formed, they are sure that I'm doing what I must to protect humanity.

I wrote them back, of course, thanking them for congratulations, and ensuring them that I won't compromise who I am just because I am a Spectre. I also told them that they were more correct about putting Mindoir behind me than they thought, having regained my biotics. And while neither of them really understand biotics, they'll be happy that their magomusume regained the part of herself that the absence of cause so much depression and pain.

The second message was from Mindoir's government, asking for my permission to use my likeness as part of their colonial seal. As the most famous human in the galaxy right now, I symbolize a lot for humanity, and my homeworld wants to capitalize on some of that symbolism. They said that, in the case of Mindoir, I symbolize strength in the face of adversity and pain, and how we persevere to become something greater. I gave them my approval, so long as I have something indicating my biotics in my depiction. My reasoning was that my biotics symbolize that, and accepting the past and becoming stronger for it. To me at least.

Maybe now I can head to Feros with a positive outlook.

**Glossary of terms:**

Sofubo-Grandparents in Japanese. As I said previously, Shepard's grandparents through her mother are Japanese people living in Japan, so Shepard is bilingual and is used to using the Japanese names for that side of her family.

Magomusume-Granddaughter in Japanese.


	10. Feros Colony

It seems that recently, I can't get away from my memories of Mindoir. Everything that happened here reminded me of Mindoir somehow.

We landed on Feros, expecting a LOT of dead colonists and having to sort through the rubble for clues, given that it took us three months to get here, but what we found was uplifting; the colonists were holding the geth off and fighting hard for their home.

We made our way through the colony, fought some geth, and talked to their leader about what we could do to help the colony. He told me that they needed geth in some lower tunnels removed, and to speak to three others. They told me they needed me to kill an alpha varren so they could hunt other varren for food, get them a power cell for their generator and to fix the water pipes.

So we headed down into the tunnels and took care of what we were asked to do, and met a man down there. Something was off about him though; like he was actively defying someone, and paying for it heavily. We talked to him, and found out a little about what was going on, and were told to ask about something before he was cut off from the pain of defying his "master".

Dear God, I hate slavery.

We headed back and told the leader, Fai Dan, about the man in the tunnels, and he told us he was "very sick". We pressed, but he brushed us off, and I let things go, and told him that we performed the tasks to help the colony. He thanked me, and my team and I headed up to the road that would take us to the Exogeni base. Although I still don't know Joker got the Mako up there. I mean, the Mako being on Noveria was odd, but this was impossible. Even more so on how we got it back on the ship.

Anyway, we drove through another army of geth before getting to the Exogeni bunker and got information about an Elizabeth Baynham from her mother, who was able to give us information on how to get into the base and get the information on why Saren attacked this colony; the Thorian, an ancient organism that had been around since the Protheans.

Anyway, we fought our way through the base and destroyed the geth ship that was preventing us from leaving, and headed back out of the base to confront Elizabeth Baynham about what we had found; the Thorian enslaved the minds of the Zhu's Hope residents and that Exogeni knew that would happen and wanted to study the Thorian's abilities. Elizabeth admitted to knowing, but wanted to stop it, and the geth attack made that difficult. We brought her back to her mother, who was being held at gunpoint by the Exogeni representative, Ethan Jeong.

Elizabeth freaked out over seeing her mother at gunpoint, and Jeong demanded that I come out. When he saw it was me, he told that my "heroics weren't needed here". I flat out told him to let his hostages go, and he said things weren't that simple, and that Exogeni wanted the colony purged.

While I was angry at Jeong, I knew the best way to save these colonists would be to appeal to his greed; I told him that they could make more money and get more colonists coming here if they could pitch the idea that Feros recovered from a geth attack.

He agreed, reluctantly, but said that the Zhu's Hope settlers had to disappear. Juliana, Elizabeth's mother, gave me a nerve gas to put into my grenades, and sent me to Zhu's Hope. What we found at the entrance of the road was disturbing; Thorian Creepers. Corpses that the Thorian managed to resurrect and essentially use as zombies, with toxic blood that they sprayed everywhere when they "died". I wanted to destroy that thing all the more because of what it was doing to innocent people.

Anyway, we made our way through the town, gassing all the colonists and shooting all the creepers before getting to the crane that led us into the Thorian's resting place. Fai Dan came out at that point, saying what being under the thrall of the Thorian was like, and how it wanted him to kill us. But he refused, and shot himself instead. And while I feel that suicide is normally a permanent solution to temporary problems, in this case it was justified; Fai Dan was permanently enslaved by the Thorian, and only death would release him.

We made our way down into the Thorian's resting place, and I saw how big the thing was.

_Addition by Garrus Vakarian: Shepard remarked on how "we (were) going to need bigger guns." _

The Thorian then essentially shat out a green asari, which it was using as an avatar to speak to us. My biotics flared as I told it that I didn't care what it gave Saren, only that it needed to die for enslaving the colonists. And I just threw the asari-clone down the pit in front of us.

It took us about twenty minutes to fight through the Thorian Creepers and asari-clones and set charges to blow up…I guess you could call them bracing tentacles, even though the Thorian is technically a plant…and a blue asari appeared out of its entrails. She told us what Saren had been doing there; he need a "Cipher" from the Thorian that would allow him to understand the Prothean beacon, and he needed an asari's mind melding ability to get it. And then, to prevent me from getting it, he fed the asari to the Thorian, and had the geth defend Exogeni HQ and throw themselves as the colony to keep the colonists on the defensive.

I'd say that was a brilliant idea, but I don't want to send any praise Saren's way. And in the end, it didn't work.

The asari gave me the Cipher, and then we left her to her devices; she chose to help the colonists rebuild their lives as an atonement for her actions. We headed back to the Normandy, where Liara did her own mind meld to gain access to the Cipher and my vision. She recognized things in my vision, but said it was incomplete. I allowed her to get some rest, and I talked to my crew to wind down.

We were no closer to Saren and the Reapers, and things looked bad for us.

Luckly, all is not lost. We got a lead from the Council after I finished talking to my team; Virmire. A salarian STG team was investigating something that Saren was doing, but they lost contact with the team. They want me to investigate, which I readily agreed; if nothing else, I could get more information on what Saren was doing from his facility.

For now, we're heading back to the Citadel to resupply. We'll be heading off to Virmire shortly after.


	11. Chaos on Virmire

Virmire was tough. The battles were tough, the situation was tough, and the decisions I had to make were tough.

When we entered the Hoc system, which Virmire exists in, we had trouble contacting the STG team. And when we entered the airspace, we saw why; a jamming tower, which was protected by AA guns. So once again, we had to drop in that damn Mako and had to drive to the salarian base.

Once again, we fought through an army of geth, but on the bright side, my control over my biotics is now strong enough to lift a geth armature. But we almost wrecked the Mako when we flipped over when ramming that same armature. Luckily the tank's eezo core checks whether the tank is on its wheels or not, and righted it so we could continue on with the mission, and we managed to get out and destroy it on foot.

And that wasn't the first time that had happened either; that damn tank flips over at the slightest bump in the road. I'm actually surprised we didn't go flying over the edge on Feros. But I digress.

When we got to the salarian camp after taking down the AA guns and jamming towers, we were met by a Captain Kirrahe, who told us what was going on here; a lab to breed a krogan army. Wrex, of course, was intrigued, and Kirrahe said that he believed Saren came up with a cure for the genophage.

And then he said the thing that set Wrex off; he said the base had to be destroyed. And while I agreed with Kirrahe, I understood Wrex's frustration; he believed the genophage cure would bring hope to his people. And he was completely willing to fight to protect it.

Thankfully, I managed to talk him down, though it wasn't easy. Wrex believed that curing the genophage was what was best for his people, and I needed to convince him that Saren's cure would make the krogan tools. Weapons were drawn at each other, but I managed talk him down.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: Shepard downplayed the situation, as usual. The armor logs, as well as what we saw, say things differently._

Wrex (Angry tone): This isn't right, Shepard. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it.

Shepard (Slight amount of panic in her voice, but she retained her composure): I understand you're upset, but we both know Saren's the enemy here. He's the one you should be angry at.

Wrex: Really?! Saren created a cure for my people. YOU want to destroy it.

_Wrex advanced upon Shepard, getting right in her face._

Wrex: Help me out here, Shepard. The line between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I'm standing.

Shepard (A bit of anger in her voice): Wrex, this isn't a cure, it's a weapon. And if Saren is allowed to use it, you won't be around to reap the benefits. **None of us will.**

Wrex: That's a chance we should be willing to take! This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about!

_Wrex takes a step back._

Wrex: I've been loyal to you so far. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did.

_Wrex drew his pistol, and in response, Shepard drew her shotgun. Ashley also drew her shotgun and started advancing toward Wrex, awaiting the best moment to fire._

Wrex: But if we're going to do this, I need to know we're doing it for the right reason.

Shepard (Lowering her shotgun): Wrex, these krogan are not you're people; they're slaves of Saren! Tools! Is that what you want for them?

_Wrex was quiet for a moment before speaking._

Wrex: No. We were tools for the Council once. To thank us for wiping out the rachni, they neutered all of us. I doubt **Saren **will be as generous.

_Wrex lowered his gun, and Ashley backed off when she saw this._

Wrex: All right, Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. Just one thing; when we find Saren, I want his head!

_Addition by Garrus Vakarian: After seeing these logs, I think that Wrex wanted to be talked down. He knew what the right decision was, but he needed to hear the words to truly understand them._

After Wrex calmed down, we talked to Kirrahe about the mission; nuke the base. The STG team wanted to use their ship's drive core as a nuclear device and have me set it in the middle of the facility to maximize output. Kirrahe would assault the base from the front, while I snuck my team through the back. This would give me time to take down the AA guns and get access to Saren's files. But Kirrahe didn't have enough men, and needed to take one of my people. I gave him Williams to lead one of his fire teams, and broke the rest of my team into two teams; the bomb preparation team and my combat team. I put Kaidan in charge of the bomb team, and left Tali and Liara with him, where I took Garrus and Wrex into battle; I felt it important for Wrex to keep his mind on mission and not focus on destroying the genophage cure.

My shadow team managed to take down some extra defenses that would have harassed Kirrahe's teams; com systems, combat drones and the geth satellite uplink. We also shut down the alarms in the base, so we'd all have an easier time.

Eventually, we made our way to a lab, where we met asari scientist Rana Thanoptis, who was studying indoctrination. It was through her that we learned that it wasn't Saren doing the indoctrinating; it was Sovereign, the Reaper ship. We also found that indoctrination affected anyone who came into contact with a Reaper, so Rana could possibly be indoctrinated as well. I wasn't going to take that chance, and had to gun her down.

We were in luck, however, that another Prothean beacon was behind the lab. I activated it and got a much more clear vision than what I got on Eden Prime. But on our way out, we were met by Sovereign itself, and learned it was not just a Reaper ship, but an actual Reaper. It taunted us, saying that our extinction was not only inevitable, but mandatory.

Anyway, we went back through the lab and brought down the AA guns so the Normandy could land and Kaidan could place the bomb. Unfortunately, the bomb site was guarded, so we had to fight through the geth troops before Joker could land.

But once the bomb was brought out, we got a message from Williams; she and her team were pinned down, and they needed assistance. Kaidan said he could arm the bomb himself, so I took Tali and Liara along with Wrex and Garrus and headed up the elevator to get to Williams. Unfortunately, a geth drop ship landed and attacked Kaidan, and I was forced to choose; Lt. Alenko, who was a proven leader, L2 biotic and Engineer, or Chief Williams, an insubordinate racist who has been getting on my nerves every time I talk to her.

So I made the only simple choice during this mission; leave her to die to get Kaidan out. And while I regret that the salarian team had to die with her, I could only save one, and we needed to make sure the geth didn't disarm the bomb. So we headed back down the elevator and fought off the geth while radio chatter told me that Williams' team had fallen. And that's when Saren attacked.

Saren came down on a geth glider, and was now somehow a biotic, which was my first indication that Sovereign had modified him. Then next was when he started talking to me; saying that serving the Reapers was our only salvation. This was proof he was indoctrinated, and I called him on that. And while I got through to him a bit, he still attacked. We managed to fend him off, but he used a flash bang which managed to stun me and allowed him to get me by the throat. But he was surprised by an alarm, and I managed to crack him in the face, forcing him to drop me in order to escape.

I picked up Kaidan in a fireman's carry and got him and my team up the loading ramp, and alerted Joker we were in. He got us out just in time to watch the nuke detonate from orbit.

Kaidan was overcome with grief, but I convinced him, and the rest of the crew, that if we didn't stop Saren and the Reapers, Williams' sacrifice would mean nothing. Kaidan agreed, and I continued on with the debriefing, when Liara brought up melding our minds again to share the more clear vision.

She got a planet; Ilos, in the Pangea Expanse, which is only accessible through the Mu Relay. The only problem; Ilos is in the Terminus Systems, a place where Citadel aligned ships are not welcome. Liara and Tali said that we needed the fleet regardless of political situation, but the Normandy has a stealth drive, and we could sneak in undetected. We're going into the Terminus Systems, and we're going to stop Saren, whatever the cost.

I ended up talking to Kaidan, Wrex and Liara before I set the coordinates on the galaxy map, to give everyone time to recuperate from the harrowing mission. Kaidan was dealing with his survivor's guilt, and asked how I dealt with the losses on Elysium, due to him having never lost any soldiers to hostile action. I told him I mourned later, and continued on with the mission. Liara felt sympathy on Saren for becoming indoctrinated, but I told her not to waste her sympathy on a racist bastard who initially sought out the Reapers to destroy humanity.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: This was speculation on her part at the time, but considering what I've learned about Saren since, she was right._

And Wrex? Strangely content over what happened. He apologized for aiming his gun at me, his only concession to his frustration was that I need to "just make sure it's worth it."

For now, we need to make preparations to head to Ilos. We don't have time to head back to the Citadel for supplies, and we're heading in to a blind situation. I hope we make it out fine.

**Glossary of terms:**

Fireman's carry-A fireman's carry or fireman's lift is a technique allowing one person to carry another person without assistance, by placing the carried person across the shoulders of the carrier. Carrying someone in this manner has several advantages over other methods of moving another person. The subject's torso is fairly level, which helps prevent further injuries. When the subject's weight is evenly distributed over both shoulders, it is easier to carry them for a longer distance - 50 feet or more. For a visual representation, do a quick image search.


	12. Problem with Politics

I hate politicians. They ruin everything, and they would doom the galaxy before they even considered helping me.

So we were gearing up for Ilos when Joker alerted me that we got the reinforcements we needed, and I thought "Finally, they're listening to me!" and told Joker to take us back to the Citadel, because I wanted the Normandy to be at the head of the fleet.

Unfortunately, that's not what happened. Apparently, both the Council and Udina ignored everything except "Saren is going to attack the Citadel", and told me I was crazy for believing in the Reapers. They refused to commit anything to going to Ilos, instead setting up a blockade around the Citadel. Then I said "Fine, I'll go myself. I can be discrete.", but Councilor Sparatus objected, saying that I detonated a nuclear device on Virmire. I balked at this statement, saying that was the STG's idea, and that the Normandy was the only ship that could get into the Terminus Systems undetected.

And that's when Udina dropped his own bomb. He said, in so many words, that while humanity was thankful for all my efforts, I did not speak for my species, and locked the controls of the Normandy, preventing me from going off on my own.

Kaidan was vocal in his disapproval, where I was quivering with rage, very nearly channeling dark energy out of anger. But there was nothing we could do. Even as a Spectre, my options were limited; it wasn't like I could commandeer another ship and use it to get to Ilos, because Normandy is the only ship with a stealth drive, the only one that wouldn't get blown up within seconds of entering Ilos' space.

So I did the only thing I could do at this point; I went back to the Normandy, went down to the hold, and started doing PT to take my mind off my frustrations. Garrus and Wrex joined in, and we ran drills for at least half an hour before Joker contacted me over the com; Anderson wanted to speak to me in Flux, a club in the Wards.

I told Joker to relay that I'd be there ASAP, went up to my quarters to clean off the sweat I had worked up, got my gear, and headed down toward Flux. Unfortunately, I was met by two more politicians; Charles Saracino, head of the Terra Firma party, who was holding a protest in the street outside Flux, and some drug addict diplomat who needed another "boost" of a prescription stimulant, but couldn't get it since he was over the monthly limit. I told the diplomat that not only would I not help him, but I would report him if he didn't get himself cleaned up for soliciting that I got him an extra dose. Didn't help that he spouted the racist nonsense that "humanity needs to show other races that we're strong" at me.

As for Saracino, I didn't even try to hide my disdain for him and his Terra Firma party. I told him that not only would I NOT support his candidacy for parliament, but I told him and his protestors to clear out.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: That's an understatement. Here's the armor logs for details._

Saracino (Extending his hand): Commander Shepard! It is an honor to speak with you!

Shepard (Deflecting his handshake): Cram your honor, Saracino. I know who you are and who you represent, and what I want to know is why you and your jackals are disturbing the peace here in the Wards.

Saracino (Taken aback): Well, with Armistice Day coming up, we're making our voices heard by the alien appeasers on the Presidium.

Shepard (Shaking her head): That's why you're making us look bad? You're holding a protest, on the Citadel, about how humanity needs reject our alien allies and stand strong?

Saracino(Stumbling over his words): Actually, I was wondering if I could get your support in the next election.

Shepard: You're shitting me.

Saracino: Not at all, Commander. You're the first human Spectre, a strong symbol of humanity, and Terra Firma could use your support.

Shepard (Facepalming): Terra Firma is why the other races look at us like we're violent, savage brutes who take what we want with no regards for anyone else. So no, Mr. Saracino, I will not support you or your party full of racist jackals.

(Shepard pulls out her pistol): In fact, I'm going to order you and your protestors to clear out and never stain the ears of our allies with your bullshit again. And if you don't, I'm going to start shooting your people.

Saracino: But…you can't do that!

Shepard: Oh, I can. As you said, I'm the first human Spectre. I can do anything I need to do, so long as I can justify that it happened within the line of duty. All I need to do is claim that some human terrorist organization started rioting, and I was forced to take necessary measures to protect the innocent people here. So get your people out of here by the time I count to three, or I _will_ follow through with this.

(Saracino turned to the protestors, and raised his hands.): People! We need to clear out!

(The protestors look at Saracino with confusion on their faces; they believed that they had all the legal permits to have this protest.)

Shepard: 1!

Saracino: We need to get out of here now, or the first human Spectre is going to start killing us!

Shepard: 2!

Saracino: NOW!

(The protestors quickly leave the area, and Shepard grabs Saracino by the arm before he could leave.)

Shepard: Now, I don't want to hear about Terra Firma doing something like this again, you hear me? Because if I do, I will murder you in your sleep.

_I still don't understand why Shepard acted like this; it just seems so out of character for her._

_Addition by Garrus Vakarian: It's a military thing, Liara. It's something taught very early on that when we put our uniform on, we represent our people. Same thing goes for politicians and diplomats, and it takes many positive experiences to offset a single negative one. Shepard is hard on her own species because, as the first human Spectre, not only does she have to deal with all the negative perceptions people have of humans, she's also got to answer for them. And people like Saracino and Udina, as well as Cerberus, make it harder for Shepard to deny that humans are like that when people are still acting like the very bullies and racists that the galaxy saw humans as._

Anyway, I met Anderson in Flux, and he apologized that the Normandy had been locked down, and knew of a couple of ways to get me off the station. He first suggested breaking into a C-Sec controlled area and hacking their computers, or break into Udina's office and doing the same. I suggested Udina's office, because not only would it be safer than breaking into a place with heavily armed C-Sec guards, but that Udina had made this personal. I told Anderson to give us 20 minutes to get back to the Normandy before he did anything,

Part of me hopes that Anderson encounters Udina, just so he can crack him in the mouth for this, but I know the best option is for Anderson to find no resistance.

When we got back on the Normandy, I told Joker that the moment the controls were unlocked, to get us out of here and onward to Ilos before anyone could track us. From there, I returned to my locker, put my stuff away, and then came back to the helm. And I waited, wanting to know the exact moment Anderson succeeded.

It didn't take long, and we were out of there without any resistance. I went back to my quarters, and I wrote up an award recommendation for Gunnery Chief Williams' noble actions on Virmire; I'm hoping for a Parliamentary Medal of Honor, or something close to it, because even though I didn't like her the moment she started questioning my decisions about the alien members of my crew, she was a good soldier, and deserves to be honored for her actions against the Reapers.

I sent the recommendation to Admiral Hackett, because I figure he will be able to fast track it to where it needs to go. For now, I'm going to try to get a couple hours of sleep before heading to Ilos.


	13. Saving the Citadel

Ilos was surprisingly straight forward. I mean yeah, we had to deal with some bullshit along the way, but it was pretty much a straight shot to the Conduit.

We used Normandy's stealth drive to get into Ilos' system, and scanned for a landing zone, and we didn't find one anywhere close; the nearest one was two klicks away. And having to run for two klicks would give Saren all the time he would ever need to get to the Conduit and lead the Reapers from dark space. I suggested dropping us in the Mako, but Lt. Pressley said that we'd need a hundred meters of open terrain, and all he could find was 20. Kaidan said that dropping in with only 20 meters of room was suicide, but it was our only option.

And then Joker said he could make the drop at 20 meters. I asked him to confirm that, and again, he said yes, he could do it. I told my team to gear up and head to the Mako, and true to Joker's word, he made the drop and got away safely. And we landed right behind Saren, just as he closed a large stone door behind him. So we had to get out of the Mako and fight our way to a control console.

Once again, we fought through an army of geth in order to get to our objective, and when we got there, a Prothean device activated, giving me a garbled message. The others, even Liara, couldn't understand what it was saying, which I find strange, since she shared both my visions and the Cipher. Then again, maybe she was focusing on the aspects of the visions we needed to get to Ilos. I don't know, and now, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, we made our way back to the Mako, and had to fight through some geth before being stopped by some sort of shield. It also blocked our rear, forcing us to head down into the side room, where we met a Prothean VI who was speaking a language our translators could understand. Vigil, the VI, explained what the Protheans had done and why the Reapers needed Saren to come back this time; the Citadel was a Mass Relay into dark space, and the Protheans modified the signal that the keepers were receiving to activate the Citadel relay, so now, when the signal was sent, it wasn't the same one the keepers recognized. And Saren learned of this, and was using the Conduit to sneak in and activate the relay manually.

Vigil gave me the master control codes for the Citadel, and send us on our way, but not before Liara asked me to stay here and talk to Vigil. I was a little perturbed; we were racing against time to stop Saren, and Liara wanted to play 20 questions with Vigil? I politely told her that we didn't have time and she understood.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: Even three years later, I am still embarrassed by this. I was thinking like a scientist, while Shepard was thinking like a soldier. I had only hoped that, when I got the chance to return, that Vigil would still be functional, but sadly, it was not._

Anyway, we fought through another army of geth before getting to the Conduit, having to do a trench run in order to get close to it, where geth Armatures were shooting their cannon at us the entire way.

But when we got through the Conduit, we right on the Presidium, right outside the elevator to the Council Chambers. We headed up the elevator, but Saren locked it down, forcing me to shoot the glass and head up the tower on foot. I had everyone put their helmets and breathers on, and once the window was shot out, we were hauling ass toward the Council Chamber.

We fought through the Citadel's automatic defenses, krogan, geth and husks on our way up the tower before we finally managed to get to the hatch leading into the Council Chamber. Once there, we had to fend off geth troops and snipers before finally making it to Saren and the master control.

Saren scattered us with a grenade, forcing us to take cover while he started pontificating; once again saying the Reapers were our salvation and the only way to survive was serving them. But I was having none of it, once again saying Saren was indoctrinated; that some part of him knew this was wrong. I managed to convince him, slightly, but between his indoctrinated mind and Sovereign's implants, he couldn't oppose Sovereign. But I had one last trick up my sleeve, one way for him to escape the Reapers once and for all.

And the bastard took it, shooting himself in the head. Now, I'm not one for suicide, but when given a choice between death and permanent slavery, I'll gladly choose to die free every time. And even though he was a racist prick who reaped what he sowed, I do respect his final decision to defy the Reapers in the end.

After Saren's corpse fell through the glass below us, we opened a channel to the fleet; we got a distress call from the Destiny Ascension, the ship that the Council was aboard, and then a message from Joker, saying that the 5th fleet was waiting for the relay to be unlocked to reinforce us. And Joker presented the dilemma; save the Ascension, or ignore it to strike at Sovereign at full strength.

I got dissenting opinions immediately; Wrex and Tali said that we needed our fleet at full strength to destroy Sovereign, where Kaidan and Liara said that we needed to save the Council. Garrus was undecided; he agreed with both, and so did I for that matter. We were going to lose people either way, but the Ascension was a powerful warship that could help us far more than the frigates and cruisers we'd lose trying to save it.

So I made the only choice that felt right; I told Joker to save the Ascension, and then attack Sovereign. And in the ensuing battle, we lost 8 cruisers that day; Warsaw, Madrid, Shenyang, Seoul, Emden, Cairo, Jakarta and Cape Town. And yes, I remember each one. Each cruiser had a crew of about 300, where the Ascension has a crew of around 10,000, including the Council. 2400 lives for 10,000; the math alone showed that my decision was the right one.

Unfortunately, as I opened the relay and the Citadel's arms, Sovereign sent a ground quake through the tower, and took control over Saren's corpse. We had to battle the dead turian while the fleet fought Sovereign outside, but the fact that Sovereign had to divide its attention between us and the fleet provided its undoing; both the fleet and my team managed to kill Sovereign at the same time, casing the ships debris to fall on top of us.

It wasn't long after the battle when Anderson brought an Alliance team to dig us out. The rest of my team came out with minor injuries, but they didn't find me right away. The presumed me dead, since they thought I had been crushed by the largest of Sovereign's tentacles. Truthfully, I managed to erect a biotic bubble around me as I got to safety, and I emerged from the ashes as Anderson was evacuating my team.

A couple of hours later, the Council met Anderson, Udina and myself in front of the Conduit, praising our heroism and willingness to sacrifice our lives for the sake of others. They had finally seen some of the nobility inherent in humanity that I had been trying to get across since I became a Spectre. They said they would honor the losses of those who died to protect them, and said that humanity was ready for a seat on the Council. They asked for my recommendation, and I said Anderson, even though I know the Alliance is going to choose Udina. But whomever they choose is going to have to live up to my example; show my willingness to work with others and to compromise with other races in order to benefit everyone, including ourselves.

They then asked what I was going to do, and I stated simply that the Reapers were still out there, and I was going to find a way to stop them. Anderson gave as speech while I walked off to reconvene with my crew and get the Normandy prepped and resupplied to get back out there.

And on a happier note, Admiral Hackett met me on my way back to Normandy and told me that I've been promoted; I'm now a Staff Commander. He's essentially step promoting me, and I'm not going to have to wait to put it on or get the pay my new rank gives me; all he wants is to have a ceremony that would be broadcasted around the galaxy before I headed out. I went back to the Normandy, got my dress blues on, and had my team do the same, (well, Garrus and Kaidan, at any rate. Wrex, Liara and Tali aren't military, so they don't have dress blues), and went to the ceremony where Hackett ran the ceremony and Anderson pinned my new rank on me.

It was a happy moment, but it reminded me that the job isn't over; the Reapers will find a way to get into the galaxy and they will kill us all if I don't stop them. But the new rank gives me new opportunities, more authority and more avenues to get things I need to get things done.

**Glossary of terms:**

Step promotion-In the military, in order to make rank, you are required to pass a written exam that tests your general military knowledge, as well as your job skills, maintain the PT standards, and be in your current rank a certain amount of time. A step promotion is a promotion done by a high ranking individual, usually a General or Admiral, in recognition of your outstanding accomplishment above and beyond the call of duty. It can be given even out of cycle for your promotion; you can be two years away from being eligible for testing for promotion, and you can still be promoted through a step promotion. This is a very big deal, and not done lightly.


	14. Resurrection

**Author's Note: **The Mass Effect 2 part of this story is going to go heavily into the spiritual implications of the way Cerberus "rebuilt" Shepard. That is why I introduced her religious beliefs during the Mass Effect 1 parts. So, anyone who gives me crap about "bringing religion into Mass Effect" is getting blocked; I will not have hate spouted in my reviews.

Two years. I've been dead for two years. Completely brain dead. I should have been put into a coffin. But here I am, walking, talking, fighting, using my biotics and writing these logs. This shouldn't be possible; I should have passed on to Heaven, or God forbid, Hell, where I should be spending eternity. Here I am, brought back from death to continue to fight the Reapers.

Maybe recounting between when I died and now will help me focus on the task at hand. The Reapers are still threatening all life, and they still need to be stopped.

It was six months after I saved the Citadel and was promoted to Staff Commander. We heard about some disappearing ships in the Terminus, and I was investigating because of the way those ships were disappearing. After all, pirate raids happen every day, but something was off about this, and didn't fit in with either pirate or geth patterns. But then the unthinkable happened; the Normandy, despite being completely under stealth, was attacked. The ship, which I now know to be a Collector ship, hit us with a beam so powerful that it cut right through our shields, armor and created a hull breach. I sounded the evacuation alarm and immediately got my hard suit on, and then sent out the distress beacon so we'd be retrieved by the Alliance. Liara came down with her own hard suit on, and told me that Joker was still at the helm, and that she wasn't leaving either. I ordered her to the escape pod, and that I'd go get Joker. She protested at first, but did as she was told.

I ran up to the helm to get Joker, who was still trying to save the Normandy, and had to convince him that the ship was lost. I got him to the escape pod just before an explosion rocked the ship, knocking me away from the pod. I managed to hit the button to send Joker off before I floated off into space. I floated there and watched helplessly as Joker got away, and the Normandy be completely destroyed.

Unfortunately, I had a suit breach, and all the air started leaking out. The pain was unbelievable, but luckily it wasn't long before I passed out due to oxygen deprivation.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on a table, looking up at a woman with long dark hair, and a balding man. The woman, Miranda Lawson, noticed I was waking up, and had the man, Wilson, administer a sedative since my waking was detrimental to my survival.

I woke up again to explosions. I was sore as hell and had a terrible headache, and Miranda was shouting in the loudspeaker for me to get up and get moving. I found a set of non-Alliance issue N7 armor and a pistol that I couldn't fire due to a lack of cooling system. I grabbed it anyway, and made my way out of the med bay and into the rest of the facility, using my biotics to fight the mechs that were attacking. I also noticed that my biotics were stronger, due to me being fitted with the new L5 implant, instead of the L3 I received when I was a kid.

I made my way through the facility to find former Alliance marine Jacob Taylor, who was surprised by me being awake, and explained that he was low on thermal clips, but he was a biotics. I was confused, of course; I had no idea what a thermal clip was. He briefly explained what thermal clips are; detachable heat sinks that allow guns to fire with more power without needing to wait for them to cool down. He gave me a clip to put in my pistol, and I was a little perturbed that Miranda didn't explain thermal clips when she woke me, and I had to fight with only my biotics because I didn't know that I could loot thermal clips from the mech's guns. But I digress.

After taking on the mechs, Taylor told me a little about what was going on; Project Lazarus, Miranda, himself, my crew, and the station. And just as he finished updating me, we got a distress call from Wilson. We picked up more thermal clips on the way to him, and I was finding out that yes, it was faster to switch out a new clip than it was to let the gun cool down, and I wasn't being stuck in a lurch like I would have been with the old system.

Wilson was sprawled on the ground when we reached him, and I got some medigel to help him. From there, we fought off some mechs and Taylor took that opportunity to tell me that they were Cerberus. And any favorable opinions I might have had of the two of them immediately faded; they were part of a terrorist organization that makes humanity look bad to the rest of the galaxy. I told them that I'd never work with terrorists, and I wanted them in front of me at all times, because I wasn't going to get shot in the back. Taylor tried to reassure me, but I was having none of it; he was a traitor to the Alliance, as well as a deserter.

Regardless, we fought on, making our way to the shuttle before running into Miranda. Miranda shot Wilson, and I immediately raised my pistol, saying that I expected nothing less from Cerberus. Miranda immediately chastised Taylor. Taylor said they wouldn't get anywhere if I was expecting to be shot in the back, and I shot back that I wouldn't stop expecting to be shot in the back with them. Miranda glared at Taylor, but answered my questions about Project Lazarus and other things I asked before urging me to get into the shuttle.

Once on the shuttle, Miranda and Jacob brought up the fact that I had been dead for two years, and that is when the implications first hit me. But they didn't give me time to process things and started hitting me with questions about my past, testing my memories. They asked about Mindoir, about Elysium and Virmire, and questioned me on who I picked for Councilor, even though Udina ended up in office as I expected he would.

From there they took me to a station where I was instructed to head downstairs to talk to the Illusive Man. I thought about protesting, demanding a shuttle to take me back to Arcturus, but I realized the futility in that and did as I was told. I entered the communicator and talked to him, where he asked how I was doing.

I immediately rejected his question, saying that I didn't trust a terrorist and he didn't have the right to ask anything personal about me. He deflected my outrage, saying Cerberus wasn't as evil as I thought, but I was having none of it. I was about to demand the shuttle to Arcturus when the Illusive Man said the one thing that caught my interest; human colonies were disappearing and he believed that the Reapers were involved.

I'm not proud to say that I started probing him for information; he was the head of a terrorist organization, so everything he says is suspect. But if the Reapers were involved, I couldn't ignore it. So I started asking questions; how did he know that the Reapers were after us? They eradicated entire civilizations, and only a few human colonies were being targeted. He explained that every man, woman and child were gone when teams came to investigate; that fit the profile of Reaper harvesting.

He offered me a choice; go to Horizon, a human colony in the Terminus Systems, investigate the events there, and if there was no evidence of Reaper activity, he would give me a shuttle to Arcturus, no harm no foul. I agreed, because of the Reapers were targeting human colonies, which they are, then they need to be stopped.

I returned to where Miranda and Mr. Taylor were, and asked them questions. Miranda was a bitchy cheerleader for Cerberus, and was openly hostile, but I did get to know a bit about her capabilities; she's a very capable biotic and an excellent shot, and she's got some minimal Engineer training.

Taylor, however, got under my skin. He too sung the praises of Cerberus, but only after talking about the Alliance failing him personally. He rubbed me the wrong way, since I still consider myself to be an Alliance soldier, and the only one who failed anything was the one who deserted his post. I eventually just told him to shut up and follow my orders.

We took a shuttle to Horizon, and I stated that their Illusive Man put me in charge, and I couldn't have their loyalty to him conflict with my orders. Taylor confirmed that they would follow orders, but I don't trust him, and I wasn't talking to him; I directed my attention at the cheerleader and demanded the same confirmation. Miranda blurted out her own confirmation, and we stepped out of the shuttle into an empty colony.

We made our way through the colony, fighting through a group of mechs until we were met by a few quarians, one of them having a familiar voice. She recognized me too, and confirmed my suspicions; my friend Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (though she's now vas Neema, having completed her pilgrimage). She asked me to confirm my identity, and I confirmed it by asking a question that only I would know; whether or not the data I gave her helped her pilgrimage. She said it did, and told her squad to stand down.

Her squad, however, asked why I was working for Cerberus; I denied that I was "working for" them at all. I said I was investigating the disappearances at human colonies, and that these two jackals were along for the ride. Tali believed me immediately, saying her attempt to rescue a quarian here and my goals are the same, and suggested our teams work together. I asked why the quarians would hate Cerberus, and they told me that Cerberus invaded one of their ships. Miranda, of course, said that wasn't how she would explain it, but I am more willing to believe the quarians than a terrorist.

Regardless, we continued toward the center of the colony, Tali coordinating the efforts of her team and mine, only to find out that the quarian team went ahead to rescue their fellow, still not trusting the jackals at my back. And while Miranda blamed the quarians for not following the battle plans, I didn't; I don't trust these two either.

Regardless, we ended up having to fight a YMIR mech, and took it down while Tali tended to her wounded. We got to the quarian that Tali's team was looking for, a young man named Veetor, and questioned him about what happened here. He showed a recording, as well as some sensor readings, of what had happened. Miranda said that the ones abducting the humans were Collectors; an enigmatic race that live beyond the Omega 4 Relay. They are rarely seen in the Terminus itself, let alone Citadel space, and are generally regarded as a myth by Citadel citizens. But there they were, abducting human colonists.

Miranda said we should take Veetor and head back to the station for interrogation, but Tali burst in and objected; she'd give us Veetor's omni-tool data, but she wanted to take Veetor home for treatment. Miranda, of course, objected, saying that Tali's team betrayed us, but I said "Can you blame them? After what your people have done not only to the quarians, but the rest of the galaxy?"

Naturally, Miranda wasn't pleased with my words, but acquiesced to my decision to give Veetor to Tali. Tali was pleased with my decision and happy to see that, despite my apparent affiliation, that I was still giving the orders. Then we parted ways, and I talked again to the Illusive Man once we returned to the station.

The Illusive Man told me that he had suspected that the Collectors were doing this, and gave me information on how they tied to the Reapers. Then he gave me a mission; stop the Collectors from abducting the human colonies. I told him to piss off, tell the Alliance, and let me go. He said that the Alliance, and the rest of the Council, backslid on the Reapers, and that I was the only one who truly knew the threat we were facing.

I reluctantly agreed, but said I'd either need an army or a really good team if I was going to accomplish this. He gave me a list of people that would be able to help me, mostly aliens to allay my distrust of Cerberus, and I told him he could cram his list; I wanted my old team back. He shot down each one, reminding me that two years had passed, and they had moved on with their lives. And he was right; Tali was back with the Migrant Fleet, Garrus had disappeared, Wrex was on Tuchanka, Liara was on Illium and Kaidan was on a secret mission for the Alliance.

I took his dossiers, and he told me he had two gifts for me, one of which walked up behind me. It was Joker, the pilot whose life I saved at the cost of my own. It was he who led me to the second gift; a new, yet familiar ship; a new version of the Normandy. I, of course, dubbed it the Normandy, and we headed off toward the first two dossiers on Omega; Doctor Mordin Solus, a salarian biologist, and Archangel, a turian mercenary.

Once on the ship, I met the crew; mostly Cerberus, but there were four notable exceptions; Joker, Doctor Chakwas, and Engineers Donnelly and Daniels. Donnelly and Daniels were former Alliance who joined Cerberus the moment they were told I was alive, meaning they are more loyal to me and my mission than the Illusive Man. Same with Doctor Chakwas and Joker for that matter.

The other thing was EDI, the ship's AI. I was not happy; between Luna, the geth and the Reapers, I did not have a lot of good experiences with AIs, but EDI assured me that she was locked down by controls on her behavior and programming.

I went to speak with the crew, and learned about them and some of the things they could use for the new Normandy; some after-market parts for Donnelly and Daniels, some better food supplies for the cook, and a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy for Doctor Chakwas. I also took the time to review the dossiers for the people I was picking up; Zaeed Massani, a mercenary who had a reputation for getting things done regardless of the cost, Jack, a violent and dangerous biotic, Warlord Okeer, a krogan scientist who had information on the Collectors, and Kasumi Goto, a master thief and infiltrator, in addition to the two I previously mentioned.

I don't know if these people will be enough, but we'll be off to a good start. But one thing is for sure; I will not give the Collectors the chance to kill me again.


	15. New Normandy tour

You know, with all the frustration I had in my last log, I didn't think about how beautiful the new Normandy is. It is so similar to the original Normandy, but there have been a lot of changes made. Some changes make sense, but others just leave me scratching my head.

First off, the helm and CIC are the same, though the doors to the port and starboard sides don't head downstairs anymore; they lead to a laboratory and the armory. And while I have no problem with the lab, the placement of the armory is wrong; it should be on deck 5 with the shuttle and tank. We should be able to gear up on deck 5 and then hit the shuttle, but here, we have to go up to deck 2, gear up, then go down to deck 5 to leave for our missions. That doesn't make any sense.

Anyway, the briefing room is in the same place, but you have to go through the lab or armory to get there. But in addition to a briefing room, it has a QEC in it, allowing me to contact the Illusive Man directly. Not that I want to, mind you, but there it is.

Anyway, on Deck 3, we have the common area, where all meals are eaten, with the sleeping quarters on the port side, an observatory on both sides, (which thankfully has a way to bring down extra armor to cover the weak point that is a window), with the gun battery stern after coming out of the elevator. Life support is on the starboard side, along with the XO office, in which Miranda is currently living in. On the port side is Doctor Chakwas' office, where, along with Joker at the helm, I'm spending a lot of time, because those two are the only ones I can trust; they are loyal to me, not to Cerberus.

Heading down to deck 4, we have the drive core toward the bow, although unlike the original Normandy, this one is vertically aligned. Which gives us some room to upgrade the guns if we need to. And to both the starboard and port, we have a cargo hold.

And on Deck 5, we have the Normandy's power plant, along with the shuttle and tank. And while the original Normandy could land anywhere, this one is twice the mass, and can't land on every planet like the original could. So unless there's a spaceport we can dock at, we're taking a shuttle down to the missions.

Thankfully, the tank isn't another Mako; we're using an M-44 Hammerhead. It's a hover tank, and it won't flip over the way the Mako did. It's far more maneuverable than the Mako ever was. It also fires missiles instead of mortar rounds, though it lacks the guns that the Mako has. The only real downside to the Hammerhead is that it lacks the armor and shielding of the Mako, but the maneuverability offsets the lack of protection it has.

And finally, there's deck 1; my quarters. It's actually bigger than many small apartments, and I actually get a full head there. I don't normally get a private head, since I'm used to being an XO as my highest position on a ship, and even the original Normandy didn't have a private head for the CO. You don't normally see a private head for the captain until you hit at least a cruiser.

I know I seem excited about this, but I haven't had a private bathroom since I was 18; it was always the communal ones you see on barracks or on ships. No privacy when showering or doing other business.

Anyway, I've also got a display case for model ships. I actually used to build those things on Mindoir, and again at my sofubo's house on Earth, and I've always found that relaxing. I actually had more models on Earth; I dove in into making them to help cope with what I dealt with on Mindoir, and I think I'll do the same now, for the same reasons.

And I've also got a fish tank. I like watching fish, but I've never been good at keeping them alive. I'd like to keep some, but with all that's happening now, I hope I'll remember to feed the damn things.

So there we have it; the Normandy SR-2. The ship that was made for me. Maybe once I get used to it, things will feel right on it. Though I doubt it ever will, with Cerberus defiling the decks.

**Author's Note:**

Since the directions "right", "left", "front" and "rear" are subjective, Navies the world over use the terms "port","starboard","bow" and "stern". Port and starboard are nautical terms which refer to the left and right sides, respectively, of a ship as perceived by a person on board facing the bow (front). In lay terms, when standing on the bridge of a ship (or any watercraft) looking toward the bow (front of the ship), starboard refers to the right side of the ship, port refers to the left side. Stern is to the rear of the bow.

In terms of the Normandy, the bow is the helm where Joker sits, all directions are based on looking toward Joker from the galaxy map.

Also, the "head" is the bathroom. It is a term dating back to the 1700s, where the toilets where placed; they were placed under the bow, or "head" of the ship, to allow to get rid of the smell and allow the waters to clean the waste out from the ship.


	16. Recruiting Mordin

Omega. I'd call it a shithole, but that would be an insult to an actual anus. And I'm not even talking about the criminal activity here; that's a given. No, I'm talking about the sights and smells. The walls all over the station have a layer of grime that has been caked on for decades, and there's rotting garbage everywhere. I'm seriously surprised that people aren't constantly ill around here. And you can smell the stink of rotting garbage and ozone everywhere. I am seriously not looking forward to using this as a base of operations while I'm in the Terminus systems, and I hope to find something a little more pleasant to walk around on soon.

Regardless, my introduction to Omega was just as unpleasant as the sights; first some salarian who was going to try to take advantage of me since I'm new there, and then a batarian coming up behind of him, told him to piss off, and then started making demands of me; go see Aria T'Loak. Damn, I hate batarians.

Luckily, we found Zaeed not far from where we docked; he was beating up a batarian who was pleading with him to stop. I'll admit that part of me liked that, seeing a batarian suffer at the hands of a human like so many humans have at their hands, but the rest of me was disgusted; we're better than the batarians, and don't need to stoop to their level.

Anyway, I greeted Zaeed, and he told me about a mission that Cerberus told him that I'd take care of, and I agreed to do so in order to gain his loyalty. I told him to go get set up on the Normandy, and then meet us in Afterlife.

And speaking of Afterlife, it was like nothing I've ever seen. Granted, I'm not much for clubbing in the first place, but this was overwhelming. The club almost makes coming to the scummy Omega worth it. The sight of the dancers was breathtaking, as was the selection of drinks on the wall. And the music was so fitting of the scene there; a great bass line that actually made me want to dance, and I never want to dance.

Anyway, we went up to talk to Aria once Zaeed came to us, and were immediately stopped by a batarian who drew a gun on me. My crew drew their guns on him, who were drawn on in return by the rest of Aria's guards. Aria motioned her head, and her guards lowered their guns and the batarian brought up a scanner. I rolled my eyes and said if they were scanning for weapons, they weren't doing a very good job, pulling my pistol off my hip to illustrate. Aria said that they were scanning to verify my identity, not for weapons; that I could be anyone wearing a dead Spectre's face. After we were determined to be "clean", Aria gave her speech that amounted to "I am Omega", and then sat down, and let me ask my questions.

Since we needed Mordin first, I asked about him, and she told me about a plague in the Gozu district, and how Mordin was trying to cure it. She also mentioned some admiration of the salarian before sending us off.

When we got to the entrance to the Gozu district, we were met by a turian arguing with a human woman about the plague; the district was locked down, but somehow, the plague didn't affect humans. I found that really strange, but I pushed that out of my mind and managed to convince the guard to let us in, because we were problem solvers, and we'd get the district back in order. He agreed, mostly because the quarantine was to keep plague victims from getting out.

Anyway, we fought our way through the district, helping anyone we could, most notably a sick batarian. Now, I don't like batarians; their culture is built around a rigid caste system and slavery is not only common, it is encouraged. But I am better than them, and I'm not going to refuse to help them just because I don't care for the species they come from. The batarian initially refused my help, aiming a gun at me, threatening to shoot me if I came close. However, when the coughing fit started, he couldn't stop me from giving him a dose of medi-gel. He thanked me, saying he was surprised that human nobility existed. I countered that I could say the same thing about his own species, and that we both needed to grow up a bit, before asking where I could find Mordin. He directed me further into the district, and before I left, I said I'd send someone to help him. He once again thanked me, and sat down to try to ease his breathing.

After that, we fought a lot of Blue Suns mercs, and I'm almost sure that I saw Zaeed smiling as he killed them. But the further we got into the district, the less and less Blue Suns we saw, and more and more Vorcha started appearing. Yeah, we saw a couple of krogan too, but it was mostly vorcha that were taking over the district.

When we finally got to Mordin's office, we were met with security mechs that, while armed, did not fire. I guess the fact that we are human is why they let us in; this was the only safe place in the district safe for humans, given that the other species were blaming us for the plague. There, we were met by Mordin himself; a fast talking man, even by salarian standards, who, upon seeing us, started pondering who we were. He correctly assumed that, since we were armed and didn't have any scanning equipment meant that we were soldiers, and then pondered who we would be affiliated with. And the moment he said that humans weren't Spectres is when I chimed in.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: Here's the transcript of their conversation._

Shepard: Actually Doctor, there's one human Spectre; Me. I'm Staff Commander Shepard, and I need your help on an important mission.

Mordin: Ah! Shepard! Recognize your name from vids. Saved Citadel from geth. (Mordin takes a deep breath.) Heard you were dead.

Shepard: I'm getting that a lot. But that doesn't change why I'm here; the Collectors are attacking human colonies in the Terminus systems, and I need the best to stop them. They're somehow able to completely immobilize the colonists, and we need your expertise to create a counter measure.

Mordin: Collectors? Interesting. Plague hitting the slums is engineered. Collectors one of few groups with technology to design it. Our goals may be similar.

After the introductions were over, I agreed to help Mordin cure the plague in the Gozu district, and in return, he'd join my mission. In good faith, he gave me a Carnifax pistol, which I prefer over the Predator that Cerberus gave me, and we headed back out into the district fix the fans that control the ventilation system and insert the cure there.

On our way, we found his assistant, who had taken some vials of the cure out into the district, from a group of batarians, who again remarked on human nobility when I let them live. I again brought up the fact that I could say the same about them, and that we both needed to grow up. The assistant thanked me for saving him, and headed back to Mordin's clinic, while my team and I headed continued toward the fans.

And when we got to the fans, we got the confirmation that we needed about the Collectors creating the plague; the vorcha pretty much said they were doing this at the behest of the Collectors, and fought us every step of the way to fix the fan and disperse the cure. We fought hard, using every ounce of biotic strength and weapons' superiority we had, and I was honestly surprised that the Cerberus cheerleaders worked well under my command. So I can at least trust them to watch my back.

Anyway, we made it back to Mordin's clinic, who transmitted the "all clear" to the guard about the plague being dispersed through the vents, and agreed to meet us on the Normandy. Once Mordin boarded the ship, Jacob brought him into the briefing room, where we gave him the data we had, and he finally remarked on the people who funding my mission; he mentioned how it was strange to see Cerberus working with non-humans, and pondered that the Illusive Man was "branching out." I cut him off there, saying that the Illusive Man was still a racist bastard who wanted to dominate all races, but also knew that the only way I'd accept Cerberus aid was to get the best, which included non-humans.

Jacob then gave him more information about our mission than I had, and Mordin began pondering how the colonists were being incapacitated. I again cut him off, told him that we had the data he needed, and asked that he get to work on creating a counter measure. He asked for a lab, EDI informed him of where it was, and he remarked on us having an AI. I said we did, he remarked on how serious our situation must be, but then returned his focus to the task at hand and headed toward the lab, and Jacob headed to the armory.

I went and talked to Mordin, asked how he was settling in, and got to know him a bit; he's former STG, and mentioned his work on the genophage. He even mentioned knowing Captain Kirrahe, whom I mentioned knowing.

From there, I toured the ship a bit, talking to my crew. Jacob pissed me off again, spouting his bullshit about the Alliance failing him and how Cerberus was at least doing something about the state of the galaxy, but at least he told me about some upgrades he could get for the Normandy's armor; this ship was spec'd after the original Normandy, and it was so easily destroyed by the Collector ship. We need some upgrades to ensure we'd survive a second attack, so I told him to look into it, and let us know when and where we could get those upgrades affixed to the ship.

I went down to deck 3 and talked to Doctor Chakwas for a bit before heading over to Miranda, who was surprisingly pleasant. Either she was on the rag when we first spoke, or she respects my leadership now. Either way, she started in on how Cerberus wasn't as evil as I think, and told me a bit about the organization, and even a little about the Illusive Man.

It was when I asked about her when she really opened up; she's essentially a clone. She was manufactured by her father, from his own DNA, adding or modifying traits as needed, and adding more to create the second X chromosome to make her "perfect." However, I can see some self-confidence issues; while she knows she can do anything she puts her mind to it, she "blames her successes" on her genetic tailoring, and only claims her failures as her own. I would feel sympathy for her, were she not a Cerberus cheerleader. She could have done so well in the Alliance military or in any corporation in any field she chose, but instead, she chose to join a terrorist organization.

Anyway, I headed down to deck 4, and stopped by engineering to see how Donnelly and Daniels managed with the parts I got for them. They offered to deal me in on some Skylian Five power, but I told them no gambling on my ship; I still consider this a military vessel, despite it being affiliated with Cerberus. Donnelly was disappointed, but he understood.

Then I went to talk to Zaeed. And while he was a little more open about the terrible things he's done than I am, he is easy to talk to, and we have a lot in common. That said, he does prize his weapons more than I do, but he's been a mercenary longer than I was in the military, so he didn't have access to the equipment reserve that the Alliance has, so it is understandable.

Regardless, I'm going to get some sleep before heading out to recruit Archangel. Knowing my luck, however, it won't be any easier than it was to recruit Mordin.


	17. Return of Garrus

I've got Garrus back! I've finally got somebody on my combat team that I can trust without reservation!

_Addition by Garrus Vakarian: And I was as glad to be there as I was on the SR-1 and during the Reaper invasion._

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We went to talk to Aria to get information about Archangel after everyone got set up on the Normandy, and learned that he was being assaulted by the three big gangs on Omega; The Blue Suns, the Eclipse, and the Blood Pack, and that the best way to get to him was to join the assault as a freelancer.

So we went downstairs, and signed up for the assault, but not before the batarian doing the signups insulted me, saying "the strippers quarters were downstairs." I blew him off, and joined the mission, but not before stopping a kid who was probably barely 18 from joining up and getting killed. I mean, I really doubt the kid had any real combat experience, despite "growing up on Omega and knowing how to use a gun."

Anyway, we were transported to the place where Archangel was being attacked, and we learned a bit about why they were trying to kill him; he and his team were making life difficult for these three organizations, and had even managed to nearly kill the Blue Suns leader. I also managed to sabotage both their mechs and gunship, giving us an easier fight on the way out.

We followed the plans to get in; just go in with the infiltration team, and once inside Archangel's base, we killed them. And when we got to Archangel himself, we saw what we expected; a turian in heavy armor. But when he revealed himself, a big smile came over my face; Garrus Vakarian. Seeing him made me so happy, I nearly cried. I was tempted to hug him as well, but it wasn't the time or place; we had to get him out of there alive before we could have any real reunions.

We did a minor briefing there, Garrus telling me what had happened and the layout of the place so we could defend his position the best, before we noticed a few security mechs jumping over the wall. I took the opportunity to shoot one when Garrus handed me his rifle, and I dished out orders; Zaeed and I would stay with Garrus on the second floor and sniped at anyone we could hit, and Miranda and Taylor would head downstairs and defend the entrance.

It was an easy battle, and I was actually happy to be sniping for once. Of course, that's mostly because I hardly ever get a chance to use my sniper rifle, bit I digress. And while sniping comes with its own challenges, at least I wasn't constantly dealing with bullets whizzing past my head and having to dodge biotics and tech attacks. Regardless, we took down the mechs and the Eclipse leader before we got an alarm that the Blood Pack was breaking through the lower tunnels. I told Zaeed to stay behind and defend Garrus, while I took Miranda and Taylor down to seal up the doors. This made up for the lack of difficulty against the Eclipse, because it was close quarters the whole time, though it did give me the opportunity to fine tune my biotic output, due to the new L5 implant Miranda had me affixed with spiking higher than the L3 I was used to. But eventually, we got the doors closed, and got ourselves back to Garrus and Zaeed, who were being attacked by the Blood Pack leader and his squad. Their leader, Garm, was a cybernetically enhanced krogan to aid with his regen, but even his enhanced regen couldn't stop the assault of five people, three of us with biotics that could immobilize and "poison" him while we gunned him down.

Unfortunately, we didn't get much of a break after fighting Garm, since the Blue Suns attacked with their gunship and their troops at the same time. But since they didn't let it get repaired completely, it wasn't at full strength, which made it easier to destroy. Unfortunately, Garrus took a missile before we destroyed the gunship, and was bleeding pretty badly by the time we got him back to Normandy. I used all the medi-gel I had to stabilize him enough to get him there, but thankfully Doctor Chakwas knew what she was doing, and got him stitched up.

Taylor, of course, annoyed me when he told me that Garrus would be down for a while, but thankfully Garrus showed up before Taylor could spout more doom and gloom over his situation. He showed up with a patch over his face to aid the healing process, and even made a joke about how "nobody would give him a mirror." I, of course, returned the favor, saying "He was always ugly. Slap some face paint on there, and he'd be fine." He laughed, of course, even making a joke about how some women find facial scars attractive, but I could tell he was still in a bit of pain from his ordeal.

Taylor left us with some privacy, and Garrus professed concern about me working for Cerberus. I told him that I wasn't working for Cerberus, and that it was good to have someone I trust watching my back as I went into hell. Garrus remarked how this plan had him walking into hell with him, and that it was just like old times.

From there, he said he still trusts my judgment, and headed down to the gun battery. From there, I went and toured the Normandy again, talking to Chambers, who expressed concern over Garrus, saying she'd like to "hold him, and tell him everything will be alright." That confused me a bit, since Cerberus is full of racist bastards who would murder an alien as quickly as they would look at them, and made me wonder why Chambers would join Cerberus in the first place.

I talked to Taylor, who again angered me, when I asked him about why he joined Cerberus. He again blamed the Alliance for "sidelining him", and said the Alliance is "all politics", and how Cerberus "gets things done," excusing the fact that they are terrorists despite "not agreeing with their methods". I seriously need to stop talking to him, because all he does is piss me off.

Anyway, I went down to the gun battery, and talked to Garrus about his recent history. He told me about his squad on Omega, and how they tried to make the lives of the average citizen on Omega safer by taking out the big gangs. But he was betrayed by one of his own people, who got the rest of his team killed while Garrus could do nothing to save them. He's both angry at Sidonis, the one who betrayed him, and really depressed by his inability to save his team. I actually agree with Chambers on this; he's dealing with a lot of pain right now. And when I'm around him, I almost forget about my own pain, my own fears and doubts over my resurrection.

_Addition by Doctor Liara T'Soni: From the camera footage I found during the timestamp on this log, I saw that there was a long pause between the previous line in the next line, suggesting that Shepard was lost in thought over something. Her head was bowed, and zooming in, I could see her fighting back tears. She was dealing with a LOT of pain and fear at this point, but didn't even want to put that in her logs at this point._

What was I saying? Oh yeah, Garrus. He also added that he could upgrade the guns on the Normandy to Thanix Cannons, a turian developed weapon that was based on Sovereign's main gun, which would give Normandy the firepower of a cruiser. I told him to get on that as soon as possible, and left him to his devices.

For now, the only thing I can really say is that I got a message from Admiral Anderson, saying to meet him on the Citadel. I guess that's where we're heading next.


	18. Spectre Reinstatement

The trip to the Citadel was full of surprises, not all of them unpleasant. The first was Kasumi Goto, who contacted me initially through an advertisement. She's a tech expert and a master thief, and explained the mission I need to take care of in exchange for having her on my team. She headed onto the Normandy where I continued on toward the Citadel.

From there, we were scanned as we tried to enter Zakera Ward, and were of course stopped due to the scanners showing me as dead. From there, the C-Sec Captain Armondo Bailey brought us through and saved me nine days of paperwork by reactivating my records himself. As one who is not one for red tape myself, I appreciate what he did for me. The only formality he said I should take care of was seeing the Council, which I readily agreed; they needed to know how the Reapers are harvesting humanity.

So I went up to the human embassy on the Presidium, where Admiral Anderson was talking to the Council about me. Anderson greeted me warmly, but the Council jumped down my throat because of my apparent affiliation.

_Edit by Garrus Vakarian: Instead of having Shepard rant about the Council, I've chosen to replace it with the transcript of the armor logs and security cameras in the embassy._

Councilor Valern: We've heard many rumors surrounding your expected return. Some of which are…unsettling.

Councilor Tevos: We called this meeting to allow you to explain your actions, Shepard. We owe you that much.

Shepard: The only "actions" I've been performing are the Spectre mandate; protecting galactic stability at all costs. And right now, that includes the investigation of the abduction of human colonies by the Reapers.

Councilor Sparatus: Ah yes. "Reapers." The immortal race of sapient starships awaiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim.

Shepard (Sarcastically): I figured as much. It's not like one of them attacked the Citadel and nearly killed you in the process. And it's not like I sacrificed human lives to save you, either.

Councilor Tevos: We are in a difficult position, Shepard. You are working for Cerberus…

Shepard (Angrily): I am NOT working for Cerberus! I don't agree with their racism or terroristic actions, and I sure as HELL don't answer to them! And any source you have that says otherwise is trying to slander my good name!

Councilor Sparatus: Then explain why you are flying a ship with Cerberus colors!

Shepard: I commandeered it. And when my investigation into the disappearing human colonies is over, I'm turning it over to the Alliance, like a good marine should!

(The Council looked at each other, as if they were mulling something over.)

Councilor Tevos: Maybe there's a compromise; not a public acknowledgement, given your apparent ties, but something to show peripheral support.

Councilor Sparatus: Shepard, if you keep a low profile and restrict your operations to the Terminus Systems, the Council is willing to offer your reinstatement as a Spectre.

Shepard: I wasn't aware you'd revoked it. All right, I accept your offer.

Councilor Tevos: Good luck with your investigation, Shepard. We hope for a quick resolution.

_It was actually funny watching Sparatus back pedal when Shepard outright rejected the Cerberus rumors, even though they were partially true. Still, Shepard would have never admit to it._

Anderson mentioned the obvious; that the reinstatement was more symbolic than anything, but with it once again being a matter of public record, I could use that authority as I need it.

And then Udina came in, and the unpleasantness started. He wasn't pleased to see me, and was upset that Anderson set up a meeting with the Council about me without his knowledge. I calmed his fears, telling him about my Spectre status reinstatement, and since he couldn't touch me at that point, he threatened to fire Anderson. Of course, I threw _that_ in his face, saying that he'd have to tell the Alliance why he fired one of the most famous humans in the galaxy for doing _his_ job.

Defeated, Udina left Anderson and me alone to talk, and we caught up for a bit before I headed down into the Wards to get supplies. But my heart sank when Anderson said that I can't trust Cerberus, meaning he believes the rumors too.

Anyway, we headed back down into Zakera Ward, where we set up supply chains with Sirta Foundation, Saronis Applications, Rodam Expeditions and a grocery store I forgot the name of. I also managed to use my Spectre status to give us discounts at these stores. I also picked up some fish and some models for my quarters.

However, even that was unpleasant; first was the volus and human C-Sec officer accusing a quarian on pilgrimage of stealing from the volus. Now, I've never liked racists, but since traveling with Tali, it pisses me off to see people picking on quarians. I helped her by asking the shop owners about the volus' credit chit, and called both the human and volus on their bullshit. The C-Sec officer tried to threaten me, saying he should charge me for obstruction of justice.

I took two steps back at that point, and countered with my own threat. "You think you're gonna 'run in' a Spectre?" Both walked off dejectedly, and I asked the quarian if she was okay and if she needed any help. She thanked me, and said she'd be okay at that point.

But then my day was further spoiled by Khalisah al-Jilani, again trying to do a smear job on me; she brought up on how my decision is what cost human lives during the Battle of the Citadel. I rejected her smear job, bringing up turian losses and how many lives that were saved by saving the Destiny Ascension. Again she tried to focus on human loses, and I listed off the cruisers we lost, and how I remember all their names. I also brought up that the Alliance owes them medals, and the Council owes them their lives. And I left things with that they _all_ deserved better than her.

I took that opportunity to head back to the Normandy.

For now, I'm making preparations for Kasumi's mission on Bekenstein. She gave me a dress, a necklace, and some heels. And while I'm not a fan of heels, I know how to walk in them. Besides, if things go as planned, I won't have to wear them long.


End file.
